found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Come share oat with me in your robe
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize