No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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