just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
