He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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