I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
