Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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