you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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