Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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