i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think I just sharted jello shots
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
