isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
