I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm bleeding and have questions
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize