I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
