Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
