I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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