Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
