I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
