Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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