great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize