Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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