Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
