omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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