no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
