Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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