I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
