I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Can I color on your dick again?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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