So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
