i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
