That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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