so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
