i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
