So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
