Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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