he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
