No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
