were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
