this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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