At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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