Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
