Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
