South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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