so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
