You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
