I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
