She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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