it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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