remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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