I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
