I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
