The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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