Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
What a dumb baby whore.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
