Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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