You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
