it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
