And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Randomize
