I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
