I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize