Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
