didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
