Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
