I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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