I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
