Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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